Mrs Hudson is the name, and housekeeping is my profession. Well, that is try to do the housekeeping when I'm not chasing the princess's diner guests that have gone astray. I also help her solve crimes and mysteries.
Since I arrived at the palace, I have been looking over the Erin the cat Princess files and have found quite a few stories that haven't seen the light of the Internet and blogosphere for some time. So, as every good housekeeper knows, it is better to get these things out and aired else they'll soon get moths. And reading a blog that is full of moth holes is no easy task, believe me. And if they get a foothold they'll spread and infest the Internet and it will all collapse, and then there will be no cat pictures, memes or videos, and society will collapse!
So, without further ado, I present the Erin's first story. This was written way back on 23rd January 2015, and was entitle "Well here I am..." Rather apt for my first blog too, don't you think?
Well Here I Am....
Well here I am... well here I am in mind & image but not actually in body. That would be spreading me far too thin & definitely cut down on the mousing duties & cream tasting.
Introductions? well I'm me and you're you. That seems to clear that up and definitely easier than my etikitty book said.
What? Its not! Oh OK. Apparently according to my staff, that's not how to do it (I hate back sofa bloggers!) and I need to actually name names.
OK this may take some time as I'm going to have to say hello to all of you. What? Oh OK, apparently they say that's not all as in each of you individually, just all as in all of you together... hmm. OK here goes:-
Hello all of you together, my name is Erin the Cat Princess. The Princess is optional but I kinda like to have it around. Its a bit like having your mum around when you're a kitten. You don't always need or want her there but nice to know she'll chase away Tom from the next yard or sort out the siblings at play time!
Princess I here you say? Surely not! Well I'm fairly surely sure I am. When we were born my mum said we had a royal room and lived in the Princes suite. It even had Princes decorated on the walls! Then, when I was adopted off the streets, they knew straight away who I was and called me Little Princess. Quality clearly shone through as later on my peep called me Erin the Princess, too. S all in all I'm fairly surely sure the peeps got it right. Though, on thinking about it, my peep does seem confused at times. And clearly a very short memory too, as I get called quite a few different names. Names that quite frankly, for a lady with a social standing such as I, are just too embarrassing. But I wont go into that just now, or indeed later!
Now as to this blog thing, I can definitely say I've never done this kind of thing before, mainly I suppose because I've never had access to a lap pot before. Wondrous things lap pots, full of images of cream & recipes and mices and loads of places all with cream! I just get my peep to switch on & aways you goes. Yep a world of Cream and Mouses at my paw and yes, other friendly feline faces!
As this is a one cat town, well house, well set of rooms to be exact, things can be a bit quiet between naps so I took to "surfing the web". This stuck me as being a fraught occupation for the spiders involved who must get washed away, nay drowned in alarming numbers. It also seems such a long way away from the good old days of them playing in the bath plughole. Probably reflects changes to society as a whole and a more care free attitude to living! Anyway I digress. This surfing is thankfully a lot less wet than the name suggests, and also (and disappointingly) has a lot less fishes than I thought. In fact none! But then, as the peep pointed out, it isn't called "fishing" so I suppose I cant complain on the basis of miss description, whoever she may be?
Anyway back to this Blog. Having mastered the keyboard by watching my peep tweet and twitter (and I have to add the peep sounds nothing like any sparrow I've had for lunch, sorry had to lunch) it was time fora short nap. Then, duly refreshed, it was out with the claws, a pile of treats, cream dip and off I went. My mum always said "keep your claws clean & sharp and there is nowhere you wont be able to go!" Not sure if she was referring to surfing on lap pots or climbing curtains, but its true. Granted at first found some difficulty with the mouse, but there's nothing I cant do to or with a mouse, especially if there is a long tail to hold it by. But all said and done I do preferred the keys and that little touch pad thingy, which I had assumed was somewhere to put the treats in. That was until one day I discovered I had moved from images of cream to a scantily clad bald peep called Mr G handi.
My first forays into the web were, it has to be said, more than disappointing with almost no discoveries. The peep did point out that I'd been looking at the list of files in the lap pot, rather than using a search engine. I'm guessing a search engine is something akin to a mechanical blood hound, but less smelly! Not being put off by this hiccup I resumed my search (after a short nap) with more vigor and soon discovered the joys of online everything!
Yes, peeps can see everything surfing the web. But I was surprised to discover how the priorities of peeps seem so far removed from the better things in life, like mousing, and sparrow plucking. In fact the ranking of creameries did not figure in the top hits and the cultivation of Nip was completely absent!
It is true I have no concept of money, after all I am a cat. Nor have I any pockets to carry it in if I had a concept of it and needed somewhere to put it and the concept of it in! Boy that's confusing, I'm only a cat you know! Anyhow, lured in by the bright lights an prospect of easy pickings, I thought that I'd struck it lucky when I found a pal that pays for you! Imagine my delight at this new friendship which, whilst not accompanied by treats, offered so much more. Frankly it seemed far too good an opportunity to miss, so my new Pal and I went off shopping up the Amazon. Yup, I did what any respectable girl would do, I loaded a basket with all the goodies that I could spend an evening with. They were essentials of course, single cream, double cream (which strangely comes in the same size pot as the single) Jersey, whipped and clotted cream. Not forgetting treats, cheese and nip! In fact more of everything nice than you could wave a wand at!
This would all have gone well if not for one BIG fly in the bowl of cream as it were, namely "Money"! or precisely my lack of "Money"! My new pal that pays got me to the check out then did a runner saying that I had no password, so I couldn't buy anything! Shock horror and near embarrassment of it all, left in the lurch (again) with no means of payment! I was just checking for a security guard, to see if I could maybe salvage the situation and nab the nip and do a runner, when peep came in. Judging by peep's reaction, its fair to say that the web can be a very dangerous place. Least ways that's what peep said (or polite approximation of what was said) when the peep saw my (read as the peeps) Amazon basket! Mort-Gages were mentioned as well as fishing, though I failed to see how or why some piscean might have an interest in my nip or cream!
Net (pardon the pun) result of all of this was a lot of huffing puffing but really no damage for the peep. There was however a massive absence of cream, of any type or any Nip. Also my time for surfing with the spiders, should there be any left to surf, has been greatly curtailed, hopefully not like the Manx relatives! I wonder what was in their Amazon basket?
~~~~~~ The Beginning! ~~~~~~
I hope you enjoyed this taste of Erin's first case. I shall post more chapters over the coming weeks, together with other interesting things that I find whilst I'm doing the housekeeping.
Till next time.......