This week I am proud to introduce Erin's third post from 3rd February 2015. That week Erin seemed to be having 'duvet issues' and feathers were quite literally flying!
So please, grab a cup of the best Earl Grey, some scones, and sit back and enjoy the chaos that ensued. All I can add is that I am glad I wasn't the housekeeper at that time!
I am proud to be able to share with you Erin's adventures, and to have the time away from doing the cleaning and gardening to use the computer. Thank you Brian!
Of Ducks & Sheep & Thrones
Back to the story. Being all tuckered out from the blogging, I needed a nap, fast. Now having heard peep talk of things called power naps (which seemed just the ticket for a new & tired blogger cat) I set off around the rooms in search. I reasoned a power nap device should be easy to spot by virtue of (1) having a power lead attachment, and (2) something to nap on attached to the power attachment. Well, after a short foray in the bedroom I spotted (if the wire and the woolly texture was anything to go by) my power nap device. Yep, there it was, in glorious two tone pastel pink, and blue, nestled folded up in a cat napping sized shelf in the wardrobe.
Never one to hold back on trying new napping technology, in I went for my well earned power nap. Well, five minutes of tossing and turning on a lumpy thin mat, and being knotted up in lots of little cords is not my idea of a nap. And it was not in the least energising. Frankly, if that's how peeps get a power nap then I'm surprised you get any work done, let alone naps!
Now having extracted myself from the strings I took to the bed in search of an "un-powered" nap. I was oblivious to the fact that today being cleaning day, peep had removed the duvet cover and the throw that resides on my half of bed. I closed my eyes and started to knead my way into a nice comfy spot in the sun. Now my claws being nice and sharp found little resistance in the old and now bare duvet . So I went on kneading and turning in a sort of blind ecstasy (am I allowed to say that in a family blog?) until happy in myself, I gracefully dropped down. Now it was at this point I started to sneeze, and each time my nose seemed to be getting more irritated. I opened my eyes to see what can only describe as the scene of some poor pigeons demise. All it lacked was the pigeon and the demise bit. What it did have was plenty of the feathery stuff.
"Eeeek! I said to myself, this really doesn't look good. There was clearly no way of extracting myself from this incident without embarrassment, or at least part of the blame! Though as peep had removed the duvet cover and throw, I didn't feel entirely responsible! As things worked out, peep walked in just as I weighing my exit strategy. Now, had I been a Calico or one of the those fluff-boys I may well have got away with the feathers stuck to me being overlooked. Alas, being a Tux, I was pretty much holding the smoking toaster as it were (this being a family blog and all we don't mention guns). Now peep looked at me and then the duvet and did a funny thing, the peep laughed. Not given to much laughter is my peep, but the peep actually chuckled then laughed. Then, without due regard for my fur, petted me on the head and went and fetched the vacuum cleaner.
This is a bit strange, I thought to myself. I expected at least mutterings and utterances of being sent to Battersea Dogs Home! But no, not so much as a bark or a curse. In fact all seemed well. Now there was a chance I was dreaming this all, so I felt my brow and even gave myself a nip and I was neither fevered or asleep. Peep also looked well. Although to be on safe side I gave the peep a nip for good measure too. Judging by the reaction, neither of us were dreaming.
Still much confused by his reaction, I headed to the kitchen to await my supper. On arrival I couldn't help but notice a large bag residing on my throne, yep actually ON MY THRONE. Now I must explain at this point that I had, on moving in, laid claim to a throne. Peep called it a stool, it is however clearly a throne. A throne made of wood with a padded gold and royal orange insert in the middle. Here I sit daily to await my breakfast and supper to be served. Also I will sit here any other time of the day when there's half a chance of some treats from the kitchen. Well today my throne had clearly been usurped by a bag. A big overstuffed bag, looking very much like a very fat wood pigeon. The audacity of it I thought, as I did the only thing a self respecting Princess could do, I jumped on it!
Now in hindsight, and to be fair, most things don't look good from the hind. Jumping on it wasn't such a good idea as the bag the stool and I bounced, clattered and tumbled across the floor. Eeeek... I thought, two messes in one day really was chancing my paw and bound to get peep upset, for sure. I could see no option but to flee the scene & plead ignorance at another time. So out the flap I went, pretty sharpish I can tell you, like a cat about to be scalded or is it scolded? well at the very least scowled at!
Now on my return, all seemed well, the offending bag had been removed and the stool righted and my supper in place. Clearly peep had seen the injustice and un-usurped the usurper leaving me to my throne. Yep, the peep may at times be slow, but does get there in the end. So, duly fed I headed for my "post supper" and a pre "main nap" nap. To my horror found aforesaid bag on my bed! Yep, this bag had clearly an intent to take over my bed space after failing to take the throne! I wasn't about to take it lying down! No Sir, I'm a cat of action (between naps) and I did what every self respecting Princess would do, I leapt at it, again, this time with claws out to avoid any slippage.
Now at some point in my flight, and picture this in slow motion if you will, I noticed that the bag was empty. Not only that, but spread neatly on the bottom of the bed was a brand new (and clean) duvet. Eeeek... I thought (well more Eeeeeeeeeeek in slow motion), and I did the feline equivalent of handbrake turn in midair, and dropped on the bed. Hmm... I thought once more as I walked towards the duvet, this is all a bit new and different. And dare I say it, pricey too. Peeps clearly can't be well as has spent some money. Checking my paws and stowing my claws, I took those first tentative steps onto the fresh cotton. Oh it was so cool and smooth and looked just like a fresh fall of snow that hadn't any of those tell tale paw prints across it.
I fell in love there and then and started to knead myself in for a well earned and much needed nap. I just couldn't help myself, it really just happened on instinct. Fearing the worst, I looked down and all I saw were some neat small holes in the fabric, but no feathers! Strange that, usually there's feathers in these things! Being the inquiring sort of girl that I am, I padded over to the bag, and saw that it said "Sheep Wool Duvet". Hmm... duvets made of sheep? clearly peeps is after counting himself to sheep, sorry to sleep!
Now soft and gleaming white as it was, I couldn't resist any longer. My mama always said the proof of the nip is in the tasting. So not holding back I settled myself in (forgoing the kneading) to conduct a "test nap", just to make sure it would be OK. Not for me you understand, but for the peep, and science. Well I can tell you I heard not a quack, bleat or cock-a-doodle-do out of that duvet. Which was something of a shame, as I overslept and missed my late supper slot and could really have done with a wake up call.
Later that evening whilst we both nestled in and on the duvet, I discovered that the peep had been looking for a reason to get rid of the old one. Me shredding it had been just the reason needed. Having done so, the peep said I deserved my cream, for sure! Well, can you believe it. After all the upset and stress I was put though, the usurping, un-usurping and sneezing. Then I get told I was doing the peep a big favor! Me thinks this is clearly a two (or maybe a three) bowls of cream worth of a big favor. To ease the stress a psychological trauma that will haunt my waking hours.
Oh and in case peep gets to see this later, just so you know and don't sleep in, I'll be on my throne early tomorrow for breakfast. At 5AM I think would be nice and early, don't you?
Tune in next week as we discover the strange case of Canaries, Pawprints, and Paint!
Till then, cheerio, and keep dusting!!